Q. Is your FAQ coming soon?
A. Why, yes it is!

…

Q. Really? Because it’s been a while now. What’s your definition of “soon”?
A. Somewhere between a jiffy and a while. Moderation is sagacious.

Q. “Sagacious”? Like you even know what that means.
A. My facade of acuity is largely contingent upon a treatise of synonymy kept at-the-ready.

Q. You’re one of those superior son’s-of-bitches, aren’t you?
A. Yo’ mama.

…

Q. Dammit, my thirst for knowledge finds no slake in your so-called FAQ!
A. I see… perhaps this will clear things up. Also, that wasn’t technically a question.

Q. What? How does that help me?
A. Sir, one question at a time please.

…

Q. You enjoy having these little conversations with yourself, don’t you?
A. Who said that?!

Q. I’ll ask the questions around here, sir.
A. Ah, I see what you did there. Clever. Perhaps too clever. Perhaps stupid.

…